When my granddaughter, who I shall rename ‘Maggie’, was ten years old, she was terrified of butterflies, grasshoppers and a few other bugs. The fear was so intense that we could scarcely pry her out of a hot car when butterflies were fluttering nearby. Believe me, it was no easy task to keep Maggie safe when she perceived danger.
One day I was driving down a divided highway with Maggie in the front seat. On the dashboard a large grasshopper was also keeping an eye on the traffic while my grandchild kept her eye on him. It appeared that he might stay still until I could find a spot to pull over, but looks can be deceiving. The grasshopper turned and jumped right onto one very hysterical child. Feet were going everywhere, and I am not referring to the ones belonging to the grasshopper.
After a couple more minutes of driving with my granddaughter sounding like a siren, I was able to pull over near a post office. Maggie ran out of the car with a blood curdling scream. Two men nearby looked like they were about to jump into action and rescue an apparently abducted child until Maggie cried out,
“Is the grasshopper still on me, Grandma?” The men then relaxed their stance and started laughing at the young victim.
Maggie finally overcame her fear of butterflies and grasshoppers; to a large degree anyway. I wish I could tell you that she overcame her fears as she learned to trust Jesus, but since that hasn’t happened yet I asked her how she got over it. “I had to, Grandma,” she responded. “There was a grasshopper right by me on the school bus. I didn’t want the other kids to make fun of me so I decided not to be scared.”
Unfortunately she traded her fear of insects for a far more harmful one.
A longing for acceptance and the fear of rejection are powerful motivators; and both are capable of controlling us if we let them. I wish I could honestly tell you that I have never allowed them to control me, but some of the most foolish things I have done in life were rooted in these two mindsets. So, are there ever times when having either mindset is appropriate and healthy?
A longing for acceptance is healthy when it first draws us to our Lord for, He deeply desires to accept us. His desire in that is so extreme that He even went to the cross in order for us to become acceptable. The fear of rejection on the other hand is very detrimental. It can lead us into the trap of becoming people
pleasers. It can lead us into dependency. The fear of rejection can even lead us to imagine a false image rather than seeing our true Lord. As we learn to trust that God really does completely love and accept us, our fear of rejection will diminish and lose its power to influence the way we live our lives. The butterflies in the stomach will vanish at last.