Our world is experiencing a seemingly insurmountable crisis. People still face their normal trials on top of those presented by the virus. Many are struggling with discouragement, depression, and suicidal thoughts. When we hurt, relief from horrid circumstances is exactly what we desire, so we should pray in
faith fervently. If relief is what is best, then relief is exactly what God will give. If He does not say “yes”, He has an excellent reason for saying “No.”
What we sometimes need far more than relief is to learn how to endure. There is always an important reason for us to persevere. Our lives are uniquely interlocked with others who face an eternal destiny. That is one reason the enemy works so hard to get us to focus on sad feelings or a bad situation alone. It is why he tries to convince us that we are worthless, that we do not matter to the world, that we will not be missed, that people we care about are better off without us, that life is unendingly painful and hopeless. In truth, he knows that if we continue to live, we can do his evil kingdom great harm.
There were two times when I was confronted with the idea of suicide. The first time was very difficult. Just before my son gave his heart to the Lord, a doctor gave me three sample medications which I took concurrently. I was supposed to take them consecutively, but misunderstood his instructions. He had a strong accent and my young daughter was distracting me. The medications all had mental side effects. However, the medication alone was not solely responsible for the ensuing battle. I was already tired, discouraged, physically ill, and emotionally broken. There were serious issues I needed to deal with. On top of that, the medication played havoc with my mind to the point that I became temporarily suicidal.
Everything looked so bleak to me. I was convinced that the people I loved would be better off without me. I gave away a collection of books and mailed a letter to a youth pastor, hoping it would help him explain my reasons to the children. I grabbed several medication bottles and a drink of water, then sat down to end my life. As I held the pills in my hand a thought crossed my mind: What if taking all the medications together could cause me to go crazy and hurt my children? I put the pills away and turned on the radio as I tried to figure out a better way to do it. God to the rescue! A song came on. It seemed to come straight from the mouth of Jesus. The message touched my heart and I chose to live instead.
I was confronted with thoughts of suicide again years later, shortly before my husband gave his heart to the Lord. For a short time, my husband kept a loaded handgun in our room because of crimes in the area. Those were emotionally hard days. Each morning as I made the bed this thought would pop into my mind:
“Just do it. You won’t hurt anymore. Just do it.” I quickly rejected the thought, made the bed, and went on about my business. Instead of becoming distraught, I just wondered what God was about to do; for God had used the earlier experience to strengthen me in the areas of hope and trust. He enabled me to endure. God loves us. Our lives truly matter to Him. Our lives have eternal purpose, so choose life!
James 5:11(NASB) Behold, we count those blessed who endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord’s dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and is merciful.
Lamentations 3:21-24(NASB) This I recall to my mind; The Lord’s loving-kindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Thy faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul. “Therefore I have hope in Him.” [Jeremiah prayed this at a time of severe affliction.]